How wombats poop a square out of a round hole

Hey everyone, settle in. Let’s talk some shit.

Wombat shit!

Gooey, brewy, Yummy, chewy, Wombat stew!... I mean poo.

Wombats are remarkable little creatures, a bit like the biofluorescent platypus, and are  known for several cool things. One is having an arse that can stop a truck. Another is that this arse poops out weird squares.

Now, I’m sure you’ve done some stellar bowel movements in your time but none are as special as these little cubes. There’s not another known creature that does shits quite like it.

You see, most animal faeces is kinda round. Be it a long sausage of a steamer or a hard poop pellet. The cube shape unique to a Wombat’s business has had scientists wondering just how they craft their little miracles and now we finally know.

Sadly, it’s not their anus. If you were picturing a situation akin to pushing clay through the square hole on your old Play-Doh playset, you’re not quite on the money.

According to Arstechnica (arse technica, today), scientists have recently discovered these cubes are actually formed by the wombat’s intestines.

A team of researchers at Georgia Tech and the University of Tasmania dissected wombat carcasses and had a good look at their intestines.

They found that the poop is actually liquid for most of its travels and it’s not until the last 25 percent of the intestine that it turns into a solid. Further down the road in the final eight percent is where it’s believed the cube transformation happens thanks to inconsistencies in elasticity and rigidity in the tubing.

Furthermore, analysis of wombat’s anus revealed that they’re a circle, ruining the Play-Doh idea from before. I sure hope those square pegs aren’t too painful through that round hole.

The research into wombat waste has even earned the team an IG Nobel win. It seems our understanding of how wombats do it may help with our own manufacturing of cubed, hopefully non poop related objects down the line.

That’s some good shit.