When I learnt that the release date of Dune had been pushed back by nearly AN ENTIRE YEAR, I fell into a dark funk. Timothée Chalamet was supposed to help us forget the dark year 2020 by giving us a different dystopia to focus on.
As Paul Atreides, the dubious pleasures of “the spice”, stillsuit fashion, and the secrets of the Bene Gesserit are tucked away for the future, I’ve put together a handy list to help you pass the time between now and later 2021 😣
Fly to Mars
A solid option. On a good run it’ll take about seven months. Pros: interstellar travel to get you in the mood for Dune. Cons: probably no way of watching the film once you get there, plus some three-four months extra time to kill on the red planet. Do you science?
Gestate a child
You can go from whoa to go on this all before the film is released! Start early to avoid disappointment. Pros: a child, who may be worthy of the Bene Gesserit or may become your very own Muad’Dib. Cons: the parenting gig will continue long after you’ve watched Dune for the millionth time as you try to figure out the best approach to sleeping.
Circumnavigate the globe
Sounds like it’ll take a long time, but if you’re a world-record holding sailor, you’ll be able to fit anywhere between four to eight of these little jaunts into your schedule before the film comes out. Pros: go solo to minimise your Covid risk! Cons: getting your sea legs??? I basically start to feel nauseated as soon as I step on a boat, so this might be a risky venture.
Write the great Australian novella
Let’s be realistic. Writing a novel is full on and then you’d have to get a publisher... Novellas though are short, punchy, and you can choose any month between now and the Dune deadline for your personal NaNoWriMo to get off to a flying start. Pros: your creativity should be appreciated! Also there's plenty of Australian gothic ideas circulating online to inspire you Cons: Will editing your magnificent octopus take you into 2022????
Watch all of Play School
Airing since 1966 and totaling some 4500+ episodes, this classic of Australian children’s television is considered one of the longest running shows in the world. If you don’t sleep at all (or indeed do anything else), you should get through this marathon in just over three months.
Read all the Dune novels
A predictable option but one that builds your nerd cred nicely. There’s nothing quite like going into a film with a few extra facts to throw around about your thoughts on casting Jason Mamoa as Duncan Idaho and what this might mean for his arc in differentiation for the books... Now a discerning reader might want to stop after making it through all the novels authored by Herbert himself, but the voracious reader might see the elegance of a challenge that involves thirteen more novels on top of the original six!
However you spend 2021 waiting *just waiting* remember that you’re not alone. We’ll all be trying to find ways to gracefully swoon and wile away the hours until we can judge whether Villeneuve has woven more sci-fi magic with this ambitious epic.
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